UMU 16: UNCHAINED

First off I want to start by saying fuck you. 

I have finally been freed from your hold. 

No longer am I longing for you. 

In fact when hearing about your changes made me almost die of laughter. 

I'm not mad at you anymore, but at myself for always trying to be better for someone, who never saw anything else but the bad in me. 

I wish I could take back all the kisses and hugs. I wish I could have had my bed to myself for those years. 

I wish I could take back all the I love yous. 

I realize now that you did not deserve any of those. 
So I thank you from the bottom of my heart for freeing me. Allowing me to see what I truly needed to fix, and the first step was getting you out of my life. 

Thank you for letting me go because now I can start my glow up and never come back. 

Thank you because the hurt you shoved in my face has made me stronger, and saw what really mattered to you. 

All the things you told me about intimacy and the importance of that connection was nothing but horse shit. 

Here I thought I was the one that did not hold any meaning in words, but at the end your words were weightless. 

So here are my thoughts with out holding back because I have always been too nice and made excuses for your fuck ups. 

At least I know I am not perfect and know that I can always be better. In fact I will be better, and I can promise this... 

You're going to regret breaking my heart.   

How can someone say I love you but then wake up saying I don't want to be here for you. How does one say that and follow it up with an I love you, again. 

How do you tell someone you don't want their love. I realized after sometime that my love was not worthless because of those words, and that is going to be your loss. 

I have now gotten to the stage where I see all the icks in you and here I thought my contacts gave me perfect vision, but in fact I was still blinded by you. 

I am laughing at you. Because the way your burning down is a testament to how you handle relationships. 

I laugh because I know you will never allow someone to get close to you because all of your insecurities. 

I laugh because I thought that all was my fault, but I now see that just as much fault I hold, you hold just as much. And it is funny because you will never see that because you never like seeing yourself in the mirror. You only like pictures you take of yourself, because that is what you want to show. But never let anyone take a picture of you because then it shows who you really are.